Letter between My Girl and EW

Around June EW started trying to befriend my girl.  I told her to be careful but she saw it as an open door.  EW asked her over to my daughters birthday party to take pictures but she couldn't make it so she was invited over before hand to give presents and EW took pictures with her and my girls.  She offered her dinner and seemed to be nice.  After that EW friended my and my girl on FB so we could share pictures and my girls could send them to me here to save EW expense.  

This is an email my girl wrote trying to help the situation by trying to let EW see how I was feeling.....

July 11 at 3:58pm
Hi EW.
I just want you to know how he's feeling. I can tell you that this is breaking his heart, breaking him in pieces. He knows he should be where he is right now and knows that your upset over his decisions and that breaks his heart as well.
He probably feels that you will never let him see them again and will have to pay for his mistakes for the rest of his life.
I just wish there was a way to figure it out between the two of you so there is satisfaction for your whole family. I know that's not my place. But reading your thoughts, hearing and writing his to you, I can't help it.
There's a lot of pieces that need to be put back together, some of which might be lost forever, but maybe there is a way.
I'd still like to work on our relationship if that' s ok. I'm trying to help him through this but it’s very hard to understand.
I just wanted you to know that.

From EW to my Girl
I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to make sure I had the time and motivation to have some substance to the message, if that makes sense to you. I just didn't want to hit reply and spew out verbal diarrhea.

I am still interested in working on somewhat of a relationship (I'm aiming for a positive healthy type) between you and me otherwise I wouldn't be here now. That being said, we both need to remember that there will be times when we say things and the other person will not like it. And I am not so naive to think that you won't share information with my ex husband.... or anyone else & vice versa ... which is to be expected. And I always live my life like an open book so I have nothing to hide.

Anyway, I don't imagine it's comfortable let alone likeable to be in the middle, but this is your unfortunate reality. For as long as my exhusband has you relaying his messages (and possibly even if you're not) this is part of your dilemma. And for the record I really am not liking this neither, but I need to plant my feet and keep them planted in order to get ahead. This is a new found strength for me and my exhusband is not accustomed to it. Neither one of us are ..... it's not the first time I've said this and it won't be the last because it is something new. And like all new things, it takes a little time to cure.

I can appreciate that you feel for both sides, and you may even have some true understanding with a background of a broken family. And at the risk of sounding like an angry hurt woman, please know that my opinion is I doubt you can truly understand my feelings because I AM the woman who has been hurt, betrayed, yadda yadda yadda.

my exhusband has told me on numerous occasions that this is breaking his heart and tearing him apart, that he knows he should be in prison, etc. It's all "blah blah blah that's all I ever hear from you" to me (ask him to share the story with you if he hasn't already ~ it's actually funny). It holds no bearing how many times he says it and no matter how many different ways he expresses it. Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about how he expresses his bleeding heart and that it's hurt for that matter. Yup, I'm a bitch but whatever.

And he may truly feel that I will never let him see the girls and will have to pay for his mistakes for the rest of his life. There is SOME truth to that statement, to the latter part of it. I know it's hard for you to stay objective, and I get that so I might very well be wasting my breath. But I won't let that stop me from trying to explain anyway.

PLEASE try to hear me when I tell you these words, I am not saying them out of my own hurt and anger ... hindsight is clear to me now, and sometimes even still a little foggy, but that is changing.

my exhusband not only is hurt .... he is also pissed off. For over 14 years I allowed him to charm me and manipulate me. It took me up until the last year to really truly accept that he abused me emotionally .... raped me of my soul. He was, as far as I am concerned the biggest pimp I EVER had.

And then I let my guard down again the last few months and here we are. My opinion probably will have no bearing on you, and that's fine but I can't just not give my piece. I am not here, trying to communicate with you in order to bash him. I am, however sharing the facts and some of them are brutal.

There is a way to figure things out, but my exhusband needs to accept that it won't necessarily be to HIS standards and HIS expectations. He needs to stop fuckin' whining and crying and stop thinking that everything is "PUNISHMENT" .... the punishment he refers to is what he thinks people are doing TO him. When I talk about consequences, it's just the way life is .... you put your hand on a hot stove, you're gonna get burned.

I am not witholding the girls from him, I am not punishing him .... I am living my life (which includes the girls) without him being the centre of my universe. my exhusband is a very arrogant, vain person and very cocky too. He is thrown off his course and is trying every tactic he can think of to get what he wants, even if it's just a glimpse of satsifaction by hurting others. Right down to getting your name tattooed on his neck. The true reason according to his own words was because he knew it would piss me off. Frankly, the only reason it pissed me off is cuz it was supposed to be the girls' names, one on each side.

Like I said earlier ... there is a way, it's just not the way my exhusband planned it.

I look forward to more exchanges with you. Let me know about the possibility of the girls and I taking Wesley for a walk.
EW